Of all the loaded words that I might ascribe to myself, "feminist" is one that I have become entirely comfortable with. I take pride in the history of the word and the women who came before me who also used that word and even some who didn't. It is no small movement and there are so many conflicting strands that I sometimes have to question whether there can be a single definition for such a broad and inclusive term. I have often been asked the question "Well, what kind of feminist are you? A Camille Paglia kind of feminist?A Gloria Steinem kind of feminist? What? What are you?" To shut people up I would usually say I am a post-modern feminist, which is, in a broad sense, absolutely true. But if I say that I am a post-modern feminist I may ultimately contradict myself. I'm sure I already have.
Let's take for instance, the topics of pregnancy, childbirth, parenting and breastfeeding. The bible tells us that the pain of childbirth was Eve's punishment and therefore the punishment of all women. When painkillers were first introduced for the purpose of use during childbirth, early (or earlier I suppose) feminists saw this as an escape to what had been assigned to them as a burden. A smear campaign was spread about midwives, painting them as filthy and unsanitary. Doctors pushed this message and by the mid-century almost all American women were having their babies in hospitals under some truly terrifying drugs. By this time women had been robbed of the sacredness of birth twice. First they were told it was a punishment then they were told that they should not even trust their own bodies and leave it up to the people in white lab coats.
I can understand why at this point so many women who choose to have children are terrified of the birth process. We have been told to fear it. We have been told that, like a disease, it is best treated in a hospital. And I can understand why some feminists now would see it as an unfair process of pain, and want to escape its associations with the biblical inferiority of women. But this feminist sees things differently. I want to take back what should have been ours in the first place and that is the right to a healthy, natural relationship with our bodies and the total respect for what the female body is capable of without medical intervention. I respect the right for women to choose for themselves whether or not to birth at home, in a hospital, with a midwife or without but I do believe that we would be a society more appreciative of women if we did not condemn or bodily processes to the sterility of the hospital unless absolutely necessary.
Something similar has happened with breastfeeding. In the 50s and 60s mothers were told that they should again trust advances in science over their own bodies and formula was forced on nearly all babies. Women were even given shots in the hospital to stop them from lactating. Then in the 70s the idea of "breast is best" became the new propaganda. The US hospitals seemed to do a complete 180. Instead of suggesting breastfeeding as a healthy and bonding alternative to bottle-feeding, pediatricians became forceful of pure breastfeeding. We can't win! For so many working mothers it is nearly impossible to exclusively breastfeed and yet they are told they are less of a mother if they can't.
My hippy ideals always seem to collide with my feminist ideals. I want to experience home birth, breastfeeding, growing and cooking my own food and a sustainable lifestyle. But I also want to be financially independent, have my own stable career and be a role model for young women who also want to juggle many things. I remember once, during a very terrible drunken night, I cried "I just don't know how to be a woman sometimes". Of course this got a few giggles but I really meant that I find it nearly impossible to live with all the restrictions and expectations put upon women. I sometimes find it exhausting to map out everything I want because it feels like such a man's world. So much is expected but so little slack is given. But I would never give it up. Never.
Let's take for instance, the topics of pregnancy, childbirth, parenting and breastfeeding. The bible tells us that the pain of childbirth was Eve's punishment and therefore the punishment of all women. When painkillers were first introduced for the purpose of use during childbirth, early (or earlier I suppose) feminists saw this as an escape to what had been assigned to them as a burden. A smear campaign was spread about midwives, painting them as filthy and unsanitary. Doctors pushed this message and by the mid-century almost all American women were having their babies in hospitals under some truly terrifying drugs. By this time women had been robbed of the sacredness of birth twice. First they were told it was a punishment then they were told that they should not even trust their own bodies and leave it up to the people in white lab coats.
I can understand why at this point so many women who choose to have children are terrified of the birth process. We have been told to fear it. We have been told that, like a disease, it is best treated in a hospital. And I can understand why some feminists now would see it as an unfair process of pain, and want to escape its associations with the biblical inferiority of women. But this feminist sees things differently. I want to take back what should have been ours in the first place and that is the right to a healthy, natural relationship with our bodies and the total respect for what the female body is capable of without medical intervention. I respect the right for women to choose for themselves whether or not to birth at home, in a hospital, with a midwife or without but I do believe that we would be a society more appreciative of women if we did not condemn or bodily processes to the sterility of the hospital unless absolutely necessary.
Something similar has happened with breastfeeding. In the 50s and 60s mothers were told that they should again trust advances in science over their own bodies and formula was forced on nearly all babies. Women were even given shots in the hospital to stop them from lactating. Then in the 70s the idea of "breast is best" became the new propaganda. The US hospitals seemed to do a complete 180. Instead of suggesting breastfeeding as a healthy and bonding alternative to bottle-feeding, pediatricians became forceful of pure breastfeeding. We can't win! For so many working mothers it is nearly impossible to exclusively breastfeed and yet they are told they are less of a mother if they can't.
My hippy ideals always seem to collide with my feminist ideals. I want to experience home birth, breastfeeding, growing and cooking my own food and a sustainable lifestyle. But I also want to be financially independent, have my own stable career and be a role model for young women who also want to juggle many things. I remember once, during a very terrible drunken night, I cried "I just don't know how to be a woman sometimes". Of course this got a few giggles but I really meant that I find it nearly impossible to live with all the restrictions and expectations put upon women. I sometimes find it exhausting to map out everything I want because it feels like such a man's world. So much is expected but so little slack is given. But I would never give it up. Never.
I did delete both. Lots of drama that does not need to really exist. I didn't read this post because I am a bad friend, but I wanted to write you back. Where is this veggie garden to take place?
ReplyDeleteDobby pooped in his litter kwitter!
Meh. Screw birth and breastfeeding. Real helpful I know.
ReplyDelete